Hey, hi, hello! Can we take a second to realize the year is already over half done? What?? How did that happen?!
Goodness, since the last time I posted in January so much has changed in my life. I feel like I am a whole new person.
I love the experience of being a human being that goes through change. How lucky are we that we do not have to stay stuck. I never would’ve guessed that this is how my year would go, but here we are and it is better than I could ever imagine.
Let’s start at the beginning of the year, to be honest it sucked. It sucked a lot. I fell into one of my deepest depressive episodes I have ever had and was fully burnt out from work. I felt like a shell of a person, didn’t have drive or passion left in my body, and would cry all the time. There is nothing wrong with crying, but if you know me you know it is not common for me to be crying unless I am mentally unstable.
This terrible depressive episode in February led me to take a month off of work. When I say that I knew it was “continue to force myself to go to the office and die” or “stay home and live” I am not joking. Suicidal ideations were getting stronger and stronger. I had my letter written for my family to find when I did the deed. Yeesh.
I chose to take time off of work, and I am so happy I did! I started to dive deep into who I am and what I want out of this life. What are the most important things to me? What brings me true joy? How do I create joy in my daily life?
I took the time to live slowly, cook homemade food, get good sleep, read, write, and spend time with family. I also got to travel.
This year I have been able to travel to so many beautiful places and I am so incredibly grateful! I have been to Arizona with Roger and Roxanne, who are like family to me. They invited me into their beautiful home and took me to bookstores, on a gorgeous hike, cooked food for me, and even brought me to this really cool cover band. I went to Texas with my parents to see my godparents, and it was lovely. I went to Florida with my family, I got to go to Florida to help watch some kiddos, I went to Wisconsin to visit my best friend and her wife, I went to Gerogia to visit my best friend and her husband, and I went to Minneapolis for pride. Wow, so much travel! So much fun, so many memories I will cherish forever!
In between all my travel I finished my creative writing class, I was in ballet class, I was in a dance recital, I got to work on a film set and met a new best friend; his name is Brady and we bonded very quickly becuase we are both sober, and I started a new job.
As much as I did enjoy helping people find places to lease, being in an office job is not it for me. I still am a Realtor and help people buy/sell houses but I no longer lease.
I got this amazing opportunity to help grow plants, write articles, make vinyl signs, grow a garden, and promote healthy habits in the company I work for. It really is the perfect job for me. It is heavy on the manual labor aspect, which I love. My body and brain have never been so happy. I get to spend all day outside and there is nothing that I could imagine doing that I would love more.
I never would’ve thought this would be the type of job I would want, but every day it proves to bring me more and more joy.
So what started off as a rough start to the year has completly turned around. I can honeslty say I have never been happier in my life. I find great joy in every single day.
I am in therapy now, too. I find this so important. It is always good to get the help you need, whatever that looks like.
I am so grateful for my beautiful life and everyone in it.
Please know if you are struggling, it will get better. There are so many people that want and need you in this world. Please ask for help if you need it!
Thanks for catching up with me!
Until next time,
-H
Healthy Opportunities 