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Isn’t it funny how people assume things?
In society certain things are deemed as the “norm” and that is just the way a brain thinks.
That is probably a bit vague but some examples are people assume you are going to college after high school, people assume you are dating someone, people assume you are straight and cisgendered (for the folks reading this who don’t know what that means, it means that you are the same gender you were assigned at birth), and people assume you want a family.
There are obviously a lot more things that people can assume but these are particular ones that apply to me and my life.
I can’t even tell you how many times in my life I have been asked about college and a boyfriend. Truly, it’s astonishing. The thing is I don’t want to attend college and I do not want a boyfriend, thank you.
Growing up I assumed all the things I had been told about how life goes were true for me. Go to college, get a guy, have a family, work a 9-5 job, etc..
The older I have gotten (and I am still a very spry young adult thanks) I really have learned to question the whole narrative. I felt like I woke up one day and was like “hmm I know I’ve been told that this is how life goes but this doesn’t feel like how my life goes!”
Making choices that are different than the “norm” is not easy. It’s not easy to feel like you are swimming upstream and you are trying to learn to be a catfish (pun intended because that’s someone who is faking to be someone else) when you are actually a magnificent rainbow trout (which quite literally swim upstream).
Sometimes I feel like answering with a “yes” to some questions I get asked, just because then I can feel like I’m not abnormal and a conversation doesn’t have to happen.
As weird as it may seem because I write about my life online, I really don’t like attention to be brought on to me. I would much rather talk about you and your life story. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I always feel so different. If I’m being honest I still get embarrassed sometimes because of how I’m not “normal.”
I don’t work a standard 9-5 with a college degree? “Eek maybe don’t talk about my work” is the first thought that pops into my brain but then I remember that I have one of the coolest, most rewarding jobs because I get to help raise a living, breathing, human!! The future is in my hands.
Sometimes I just shut my mouth when people ask me if I have a boyfriend or laugh and say no just because I’m not dating anyone and I don’t want to have to explain that I’m not straight. It shouldn’t matter that I’m not, but unfortunately there are still people who do find that to be an issue. I think people should learn to ask (if you really find it necessary to ask about someone’s love life) if you are dating anyone. You should never assume someone would date only a certain type of person or gender. Just like you wouldn’t assume someone is a doctor because they are at a hospital, you shouldn’t assume someone would date a certain gender, or that someone is a certain gender for that matter.
Let people free flow through life. Life isn’t meant to be made up of rigid boxes that you have to fit into; you are free to flow baby!!
Sometimes I do struggle with feeling different or like I’m not doing the right thing because it’s not like everyone else, but then I remember I’m like that rainbow trout. I swim upstream.
I live my life for me and I am free to be me.
I think life is fun when you let things be fluid. Flow through life with the ease of water in a stream.
You don’t have to be a certain way or do certain things to be successful in life. You get to choose what makes you happy and proud to be who you are.
Don’t let anyone dull your authentic self.
Until next time,
-H
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